Archive for December, 2008

Stress Free Holiday Season – Lessons from the Past

Wednesday, December 17th, 2008

I have purchased tons of presents for my kids.  This isn’t anything new since I have been doing that since my daughter Jessica (who is 18) was born.  I love shopping for my kids.  If I need anything, I am pretty cheap on myself, but I splurge on my kids.  Don’t most mothers do that anyways???

Lessons from Splurging on the Kids:

  1. They get spoiled… take it from me. My daughter Jessica use to be spoiled since she was my only child for 13 years prior to having my son Blake.  I would buy her anything.  That is when I kind of stopped the spoiling.  It was tough on Jessica.  She never realized how spoiled she was as a kid.  Once she has gotten over the disappointment, they move on.  It doesn’t mean that Jessica doesn’t feel disappointed anymore, but she definitely doesn’t feel spoiled.  The greatest part of not spoiling your kids is that they become more responsible and consciously aware adults.  (Which is what has happened to Jessica).
  2. They expect it… yes, the kids will expect the same amount of gifts, if not more since you set the precidence of how many gifts they get.  If you are feeling the recession with the loss of income or lower wages, the kids don’t understand why Santa is not as generous as he was last year.  If the kids aren’t expecting an elaborate Christmas, then they will appreciate what they get from Santa.  Appreciation is the best skill for any child to learn.
  3. They feel disappointment… it is disappointing if Santa is not keeping up with the “Jones”.  My son Blake is already asking for everything for Christmas.  He doesn’t have a clear idea what he wants.  Everyday he will say I want this toy or that toy… He comes home from school with another idea of what he thinks he wants.  If I would buy all those toys he is asking for, he would not play with them.  Last year is a perfect example, he wanted a Spiderman, a dinosaur, and several other toys. He received all of them.  He didn’t even play with any of them.  It is about the wanting instead of the receiving. 

So here are my new rules for Christmas season (Low Stress Christmas):

  1. Kids went through their toys and gave away 3 bags of toys that they didn’t want or need. These are great toys that were hardly used.  My little kids are only 5 and 3 years old, but they didn’t have strong attachments to these material items.  I explained to them that we are going to give these toys to kids that do not have any toys.  They were excited about helping others.  Kids are natural givers… let them express it. 
  2. Include the kids in all aspects of Christmas planning.  The kids cleaned up the house, picked out the tree, decorated the tree, put up decorations around the house (all with the assistance of mom and dad, of course).  My kids love to cook. They will be making the cookies with me.  I let them wash the dishes too.  It would be easier for me to do it all myself, but the memories that are made are worth more than rushing through the kitchen.
  3. Santa is only bringing 1 gift.  Each kid will get 3 gifts this year.  One from Santa, two from mom and dad.  I use to wrap all their clothes including socks.  The meaning of Christmas is not about all the gifts around the tree.  The kids will still be getting other presents from other people so there is no lack of presents there.  Santa only distributes one special toy per child.  If Santa is dishing out tons of presents to my kids and none to others, it send the wrong message.  If a child learns at a young age that Christmas is about giving and sharing, then they will not go through the spoiling, expecting, or disappointment that most of us go through.

So for those presents I bought for my kids, I am just giving the clothes to my kids.  For excess toys I may have bought, I am giving them to the Toy Drives.  This year will be the start of a Spoil Free, Giving and Sharing Stress Free Christmas filled with lots of laughter, joy and memories.

Happy Holidays!

Layla

Would you like some cheese with that Whine??? (Audio Blog)

Monday, December 8th, 2008

 

Ok, whining is one of those toddler/preschooler things that need to be nipped in the bud.  Since my daughter Amira just turned 3, she decided it was time to go from mature communication to WHINE.  I try not to allow the whine to stay in the house too long.  I work on a continuous basis nipping it in the bud through coaching my 3 year old on appropriate and nonappropriate behavior. Kids are smart. They know they can get away with it, if we let them.

Listen to the audio above and let me know your techniques on nipping the whining quickly and effectively…

~ Layla

Lessons from my Mentor…

Friday, December 5th, 2008

This morning I was listening to a Strategy Call from Alex Mandossian at http://www.TeleseminarMadness.com . He is a great story teller when he is making a point.  He was talking about how a teacher is there to assist and NOT to help.  He gave a story about how he assisted his daughter Breanna to get out of the bathtub.  She wanted him to carry her out. He gave her a finger to assist her and she bumped her knee.  It was hurting him seeing that but he knew that he needed to assist her instead of helping her.  Anyways to make a long story short, the next bath time, Breanna asked for help.  He assisted her and she bumped her ankle a little.  The time after that she didn’t bump anything and started climbing out all by herself. 

Yes, this was an internet marketing strategy session, but it made me realize how much I help my kids all the time.  Blake still wants me to help him get dressed in the morning.  Blake is 5 years old.  Amira, my 3 year old, gets herself dressed.  I realized that I was helping because it was easier for me.  What didn’t click is that I am enabling a “LAZY” kid who will expect everyone (especially mom) to do everything for him. 

The buck stopped after my lesson.  Tonight was a transforming night.  Yes, nighttime ritual lasted a little longer than usual since Blake was tired and wanted me to help.  I waited patiently (for 30 minutes) until I decided to get my timer out.  Once I set the 6 minute timer to get dressed and brush his teeth, Blake moved like Santa was visiting tonight. He was done before the timer went off.

Here are my lessons:

1.  Feed a man a fish and he eats for a day.  Teach (or assist) a man to fish and eats for a lifetime.

2.  Every mother needs a timer!!!  It is a great motivator for slow moving kids. (bribes like a x-mas movie after the action is taken works too.)

3.  Moms learn great patience by having kids!

~ Layla

How Teleseminars Changed My Life

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

Tonight was the preview call for Teleseminar Secrets at http://www.TeleseminarMadness.com. Last year was the turning point for my life as a mother.  Yes, I am a stay at home mother with 3 children and I love being home with the children.  I also love my computer as well as the internet.  I needed to do something to keep my mind challenged (not like chasing kids and being a referee is not good enough) and something to make extra money. (At least money to call my own).  I decided to listen in on the preview call and something moved me to signing up for Alex Mandossian’s teleseminar course.  I took the course and let me tell you that I was a bad student.  Yep, the worst!  I didn’t listen to the entire course.  I picked the parts I wanted to listen to!  I captured one idea from the course and ran with it. 

I created Virtual Real Estate Seminar Tour within 2 months and this ended up being extremely successful.  Not only did I do one teleseminar.  I conducted a 4 day teleseminar series with 19 speakers that I interviewed.  It was definitely a juggling act since I had little ones running around the house.  The greatest part is the friends I made, the people I interviewed, the marketing techniques that propelled my internet business and the breaking through any fear and barriers.

Let’s face it!  Fear and our own mental barriers stop us from being GREAT!  One thing Alex teaches is “Sloppy Success is Better Than Perfect Mediocrity”. 

So what are you waiting for.   Time to be great!!! It may not be with Teleseminars.  Be GREAT in anything you do in your life.

~ Layla


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